I lost myslef…
As a people nowdays in my twentysomething age. Sometimes i was feeling so exhausted, so weary or sometimes i was just tired for nothing. It’s like i would throw down my body over the bed and won’t face the sun anymore.
My daily routine was so flat — it was just like awake and be up againts the complexity society — Smiling and maybe i would won a cup from “Hold back emotions” nominates in the end of the day. Everyday just trying to be a “humans” to everyone, same as always: eat, drink, hark and talk unstinting, and this hodgepodge feeling gotten me crazy day by day
And there are day i just sat in my lovely wooden bench thought about my life. Why i always epitomizes the day as a bad day?
I just fell like no one can understand about what i face, just nurturing sadness, feeling alone like no one understand me vividly.
I feel it all the time — maybe more all the time.
But the more that I feel about it, I started thinking and looking where’s the mistakes that made me always vacillate with no clear aim, always considered myself inappropriate and i always tired and i lose my self.
But one thing that i know, even how much i lose myself. I’ll always created one every morning so, and be the new me every
So, i started looking for where I had gone wrong, then I found 3 things.
But with al those insecurities, all
Social Media Kills You..
I lose my self on social media.
We been knew about how social media like twitter, instagram, etcetera just plain intoxicating and made us neglect our daily life routin for seek a gajillion useless tidings.
Can you count how much you spending your time to scroll your timeline?
— because i can’t, it was uncountable for me. I was using instagram and twitter almost a half of my day and just…scrolling….checking nothing and.. scrolling.
Probably, several of you same as me.
So, have you familiar with this quote “Social media kills you” because If you are an addicted social media user, maybe these word would you see often circumilate in community. The mental observers always use this quote to reminding us about how many link between frustrated and depressed because of social media.
Many platform, publican, or community has discusse about this issues every single time. Like The Guardian wrote about Six Ways Social Media Will Kill You, or Posterini write about Social Media Day: 5 reasons Social Media can kill you (inside).
But how could social media burgeoning depression?
As a communication student, i know how social media was working. When we use social media, most people tend to compete in that hyperreality world consius or uncounsiously.
Like baudlilard said that the media can now create such idealistic respresentation of reality that out perform actual reality. The audiance is left feeling depressed as they’re own life doesn’t live up to artificial reality.
We made our new identity as great as we want wich we can’t made possible to our reality life. Like instagram celebrities where we found out they have a perfect life because their ‘reality’ is based on ideals which aren’t real because people have flawless.
Like how we started to be another person that are very different from who we are and we started to compete with other person to be more superiorior on social media.
And after i realize that, i reduced using my social media.
And then things i got in a couple week when I’m trying to reduced my social media time and try to spend my life with in something i like. Its affected a huge part in my life, i’m become more active, more cheer, more positive and more relieved.
The things i do is just some daily activity as simple as see the sky — Sounds weird? but i don’t care. I’d like to see how the could walk slowly and nobody notice it. Everyone just busy with their to do list, bring a cup of coffe and run catch up the train, or how everyone stare their phone without even knowing what past them.
And i’m feeling so Peaceful
I stopped seeing people on the social media, wondering if i was her/him or get jealous with their acceptence. Stop seeing people on the internet with their hyper-reality life And after that I just feel placid and peace.
I knew how hard to dispense with social media offhand, especially to people who work with it. But maybe you can use one day in a week to let your life free from the social media, just one day.
And the end like wise man say — time will help.
Mind And His Superpower
I lose myself on my own mind.
One day, i just deep on my mind and accompany by women voice who come out from radio. Her voice so cheer, i’m smile with her little jokes, and in the end of her line, she talk about famous saying :
“ Watch your thoughts, they become words;
watch your words, they become actions;
watch your actions, they become habits;
watch your habits, they become character;
watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”
I started to think about all good think, like how beauty i am, how smart, intellegence, strong, and happy i am. And it was a great feeling to feel and helped me to do my daily routin.
i developed a positive thought over my head and it’s increasingly helped me to retreive m
According to The Forbes Stephynie Malik, Chique Speak said that there are no substitutions for a bulletproof mindset. Finding a practice that works for you is key. When coaching different types of clientele (executives, millennials, entrepreneurs), each group works differently. The one thing I have found to be true and practical is that there is no standard practice. Your mindset practice is completely personalized and will evolve depending on what limiting beliefs you are trying to remove, as well as what positive traits are you trying to instill in your daily routine. The most important advice I can give is “stick with it.” Get into a routine, find what works, and don’t stop until you have mastered the program you choose.
So i started to control my mind by creating all the positive part i have in my life
Hopes but hovers….
I lose myself on my own hopes.
Everyone has hope and something that they standardize to come true, put hope in the highest position in life, and let it settle until it becomes a reality.
But unfortunately me-you-we all sometimes just let that hope fly and make it the beginning of an attempt to ‘blame’.
Maybe I often let my hopes float in my head, making it a beautiful display there without realizing that the display can only be seen and I can’t feel it if I don’t try to take it. I let the hopes in my head fool me by making a picture that I am unable to make it happen.
Every people have a hope, something that theirs standarized to be true, put it on the high part of life, and just let it be hope. It’s not wrong about having hopes but there’s a simple story named “The Old Man and The Sea. There’s the old man who really a skilled fisherman. He is not as strong as he was in his youth, but he has achieved a level of skilfulness and knowledge that makes up for the decline in his physical strength. He knows how to read nature, and how to handle the line to gauge the movement of the fish. He knows how to interpret every movement of the fish. He also knows his own limits. He knows how far he can push himself. He knows when the moments to eat and to rest come. He uses all that knowledge to overcome his limitations.
with all that ability he had a bad fate when the marlin fish he managed to catch only became a pile of skulls. The old man got something that was not within his capacity. The marlin fish is a depiction of a dream and the old man’s boat is a self-capacity. So if we want to give hope to ourselves we must be able to balance it with our own capacity so that we don’t feel lost because of the failure of that hope.
So after understand those three things in my life, i started to compile every aspect that really make me whole again. Even when i was on my lowest time i remember i would shine again because human can be destroyed but not defeated
P.s :I don’t wrote this in a day, it’s take a month following my mood and how i handle it when i lose myself, i didn’t said it would affect to everyone and i’m sorry about my bad grammar, hope you can reach what i mean. Please found yourself.
Eh this was my 2020 writting hahaha
